Slow day
by Morbid Vesper
Summary: Their only mission is to find sometihng to do.


Slow Day  
  
by Tracy Tabor   
  
  
  
Their only mission is to find something to do.   
  
  
  
  
  
As Darien answered the door, Hobbes could tell he'd been crying.   
  
Hobbes: Fawkes? You ok?   
  
Darien: Fine, just fine. So what's up?   
  
Hobbes: Thought I'd stop by, take you to work. Sure you're fine.   
  
Darien: Yes, yes.   
  
Hobbes:(looks around and spots a box of tissues)   
  
Darien:(notices that Hobbes has seen the tissues and grabs them and runs to the bathroom)   
  
Hobbes:(sees the VCR has a tape in and he takes it out)   
  
Darien:(sees Hobbes with the tape) Aw crap!   
  
Hobbes: This is what you're crying about?   
  
Darien: I'm not crying.   
  
Hobbes: Edward Scissorhands?   
  
Darien: Well, when the inventor died, and Johnny Depp is left with scissors for hands, and the inventor is just laying there dead  
and Johnny is sad and, and, and......   
  
Hobbes:(you cannot imagine the look he is giving Darien)   
  
Darien: Let's just go.   
  
Hobbes: Johnny? You're on a first name basis?   
  
At work (the Agency).   
  
Darien and Hobbes are walking around when Eberts shows up.....   
  
Hobbes: Hey Eberts.   
  
Eberts: Robert, Darien.   
  
Darien: You don't look very busy.   
  
Eberts: No. There's just nothing to do today.   
  
Hobbes: The E man is right.   
  
Eberts:(whispering in confusion) E man?   
  
Darien: Hey, I know where there's a deck of cards in the building. Let's go play a round of poker.   
  
Hobbes: For money?   
  
Darien: Well, I wouldn't want to bankrupt ya.   
  
Hobbes: Ha! Bobby Hobbes will kick your invisible butt my friend.   
  
Darien: Wanna bet?   
  
Hobbes: Yeah.   
  
Darien: Hey Ebs, come on, come play.   
  
Eberts: No, I don't like betting, but thanks for the offer to "play."   
  
Darien: Aw, come on.   
  
Hobbes: I see, we're too good for you.   
  
Eberts:(blushes and looks at the ground)   
  
Darien: Mabey he's never played before.   
  
Eberts: No, I have, (looks at Hobbes) and I've beaten some pretty good players.   
  
Hobbes: Oh really. Care to indulge me?   
  
Eberts: Well....   
  
Darien:(grabs Eberts' arm) Come on.   
  
They grab a deck and head to an empty conference room. On the way they run into Monroe.....   
  
Monroe: Where's everyone going?   
  
Hobbes: To play some poker.   
  
Darien: Bettin style.   
  
Monroe: And you didn't invite me? Well it's on now.   
  
Hobbes: I don't know, I'd feel bad beating woman.   
  
Darien: What woman? It's Monroe.   
  
Hobbes:Yeah.   
  
Eberts:(shocked) Agent Fawkes.   
  
Darien: What?   
  
Monroe:(giving a look of utter hate, i.e. 'the look')   
  
Darien: What?   
  
They go in and begin to play.....   
  
Eberts: I don't think I sho....   
  
Hobbes: Albert,(puts his arm around Eberts) my friend, you need to loosen up. Relax.   
  
Eberts: Well, for me, working is relaxing.   
  
Darien: Well think of this as work.   
  
Eberts: But....   
  
Hobbes:(shoves deck at Eberts) Just deal.   
  
Downstairs Claire wanders the halls. She decides to go see what everyone is doing. She hears laughter and talking  
in a nearby room and goes in.....   
  
Claire:(looks in)   
  
Darien: Keep, come in.   
  
Claire:(comes in, grabs a chair and sits down) What's going on?   
  
Hobbes: Poker.   
  
Darien: Word of advise, never play Monroe, she will suck you dry.   
  
Monroe:(straightening her pile of money) He he he.   
  
Hobbes: All right, raise you five.   
  
Monroe: I see your five and raise you ten.   
  
Hobbes: There goes my gas money.   
  
Darien: Twenty, I raise you twenty.   
  
Monroe: Twenty-five   
  
Darien: I fold.   
  
Hobbes: Me too. Eberts?   
  
Eberts: Thirty-five.   
  
Darien/Hobbes/Claire: Oh!   
  
Monroe: All right, I see that, show me what ya got.   
  
Eberts: You first.   
  
Monroe:(lays 'em out)   
  
Darien/Claire/Hobbes:(lean in close) Ooooh.   
  
Eberts:(smiles real big, lays 'em out)   
  
Darien/Claire/Hobbes: Oh!!   
  
Monroe:(gaping at her loss)   
  
Eberts:(grabs pile and straightens it)   
  
Hobbes: Monroe, I can't believe this. Eberts! Wow!   
  
Darien: I am shocked.   
  
Claire: I..I..wow.   
  
Eberts: I told you I beat some good players.   
  
Hobes: Eberts my man, way to win.   
  
Monroe:(crosses her arms) You better watch yourself. (to Eberts)   
  
Eberts: Watch myself spend this money.   
  
Darien/Claire/Hobbes: Oh!!   
  
Hobbes: Eberts, way to go.   
  
Darien: Couldn't have put it better myself.   
  
Claire: Albert, well.   
  
Monroe: I gotta go. (leaves)   
  
Hobbes: Eberts is buying us all lunch!   
  
Eberts: I am?   
  
Darien: How kind of you Eberts.   
  
Eberts: Yes, how kind of me.   
  
Hobbes: I know a nice joint that sells these great burgers....   
  
Claire/Darien/Eberts: NO!   
  
Darien: I know a place that's desease free.   
  
Hobbes: It wasn't a desease. It was food poisoning. There is a big difference my friend.   
  
Darien: Not to my stomach.   
  
At McDonalds.....   
  
Hobbes: Oh, and this is better.   
  
Eberts: It's cheaper.   
  
Darien: Your not going to eat?   
  
Eberts: Not here.   
  
Claire:(arms full of food)   
  
Hobbes: Hey Keep, got enough food?   
  
Claire I'm hungry. I've been in the lab all night.   
  
They sit down to eat.   
  
Half an hour later......   
  
Eberts:....so then I went to file cabinet A3, and looked in drawer E-M. Well, to my surprise, the Boswell file was in there. A  
B-34 file in an E-M drawer, in an A3 cabinet. Can you believe it?   
  
Darien:(asleep)   
  
Claire:(eating)   
  
Hobbes:(about to fall over) No. I can't believe it.   
  
Eberts: Well I opened it and found that an equation.......   
  
Later.....   
  
Eberts:....he didn't carry the 4. (starts to laugh)   
  
Darien:(looks at his tattoo, missing the good old days of Quicksilver madness.) The one time I ever wanted it to happen.   
  
Hobbes: (mixing ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, radish, bbq sauce, honey mustard, honey, and cream) Now to top it off with  
some grape jam.   
  
Darien: Ewww.   
  
Claire: Bobby!   
  
Eberts:(makes a disgusted face.)   
  
Darien: I think we should go.   
  
Claire: Yes, please.   
  
Hobbes: Anyone hungry?   
  
Claire/Darien: Yuck!   
  
Hobbes: Eberts you haven't eaten. (shoves the goo in Eberts' face)   
  
Eberts: Let's go. (gets up and runs out door.)   
  
Back at the Agency......   
  
Monroe: Where were you?   
  
Darien: Lunch.   
  
Monroe: Oh, have a good lunch?   
  
They all look at Eberts......   
  
Darien/Hobbes/Claire: Well.....   
  
Monroe: Oh, the Boswell file story, huh?   
  
Claire/Darien/Hobbes: Yeah.   
  
Eberts:(composes himslef)   
  
Darien: Now what do we do?   
  
Hobbes: We still have that deck of cards.   
  
Darien: That's it! I'm going to beat my record for the tallest house of cards!   
  
Claire: Oh, what's your current record?   
  
Darien: 6 cards.   
  
Claire: This shouldn't take long.   
  
Later in the conference room....   
  
Darien:(still building)   
  
Monroe: I bet he won't make it to a third deck.   
  
Hobbes: I bet he will.   
  
Claire: I say it falls down in 5 minutes, look at that structure, it's not stable.   
  
Eberts: I believe that Mr. Fawkes can do it.   
  
Later.....   
  
Darien: Done!   
  
Hobbes: Pay up Monroe. 4 and a half decks, and you too Claire, 3 hours.   
  
Darien: To the ceiling! Woo! Half way across the room! I'm trapped in the corner! Wait!   
  
Monroe: Ha! Now you have to tear it down.   
  
Darien: Awww.   
  
Hobbes: Come on Fawkes, it's time to go.   
  
Darien: Yes. (Tears through tower fearlessly) I will conquer all!   
  
Hobbes: Over doing it there partner.   
  
Darien: All right, let's..(kicks last standing cards)..go.   
  
Everyone wipes cards off their shoulders and heads, and goes out.....   
  
Darien: Now what do we do, it's not even two o'clock yet.   
  
Hobbes: This day is going by very slowly.   
  
Darien: You can say that again.   
  
Hobbes: This day is going by very slowly.   
  
Darien: Hobbes, it's a figure of speech.   
  
Hobbes: I know.   
  
Darien: Then why did you repeat yourself? Was it funny in your head?   
  
Hobbes:(just stares angrily at Darien)   
  
Darien: So where are we going?   
  
Hobbes: I'm going to the keep, your going into a wall.   
  
Darien What? (Staring at Hobbes in confusion, doesn't see the fore mentioned wall, runs right into it) AH!   
  
Hobbes: When Bobby Hobbes is right, he is right my friend.   
  
Darien: Aw, crap. Ow. Aw man.   
  
Hobbes: Don't say I didn't warn you.   
  
Darien: Just shut up.   
  
Hobbes:(laughs to himself)   
  
They arrive at the keep, where Claire is just sitting, starring at a snake......   
  
Claire: Hey guys. Darien, what's the matter? Why are you holding your head?   
  
Darien:(Grumbles)   
  
Hobbes:(Grins) My perceptive partner here failed to notice a wall in his walking path.   
  
Darien:(Stares daggers at Hobbes)   
  
Claire:(Tries to hold back a laugh) Come on, I'll take care of it.   
  
Darien: It's not funny.   
  
Claire: Yes, of course. I know it's not funny. (Chuckles) I'm sorry, not funny. (Giggles)   
  
Hobbes: It's not funny, it's hillarious.   
  
Claire:(Burst into a laugh)   
  
Darien:(Gets up) Alright, what if it happened to you huh?   
  
Claire: I'm sorry Darien, now sit down.   
  
Darien: It's not funny.   
  
Claire: Do you want me to go smack the wall and tell it how bad it is for hurting you? (Chuckles)   
  
Hobbes:(Laughs)   
  
Darien:(Scowls)   
  
Claire: I am sorry. Alright, you seem to be in good condition, I'll go get you an ice pack.   
  
Hobbes: Claire, instead of yelling at the wall, call his parents.   
  
Claire:(Laughs)   
  
Darien:(Growls) Yeah, well, you're bald.   
  
Hobbes: BaldING my friend, baldING. Bobby Hobbes has still got some up top.   
  
Darien: You must be talking about hair, 'cause I know you're not talking about brains.   
  
Claire: Now now you two.   
  
Hobbes: You ran into a wall.   
  
Darien: You're insane.   
  
Hobbes: You're....tall!   
  
Darien: Oh that hurt.   
  
Claire: Alright children, let's play nice now.   
  
Darien:(Thinking) Nice, ice, dice, MONOPOLY!!!!!!!   
  
Hobbes/Claire: What?!!   
  
Darien: Let's play monopoly! I can run home quickly and get it.   
  
Hobbes: Why not?   
  
Claire: Sure. But be really quick, I don't want the official yelling at me for your mistake.   
  
Darien: Sure thing. ("shooms" and walks out)   
  
About twenty minutes later, in the keep. The door opens, then closes......   
  
Darien:(un-quicksilvers) I got it.   
  
Claire: Alright.   
  
Hobbes: I call the top hat!   
  
Darien: Aw! I wanted the top hat. It's the best one.   
  
Hobbes: I called it first.   
  
Darien: Fine, I'll take the car.   
  
Claire: I want the puppy! Hey, does someone wanna ask Alex and Eberts if they wanna play?   
  
Darien: Sure. You guys set it up, and I'll go see if they want to join us.   
  
Darien goes to get Monroe First.....   
  
Darien:(knocks)   
  
Monroe: Come in.   
  
Darien: Hey, we're playing monopoly down in the keep, you wanna come?   
  
Monroe: Sure. Is the top hat taken?   
  
Darien: Yeah, Hobbes called it.   
  
Monroe: Damn.   
  
As they go down to the keep they run into the official and Eberts.......   
  
Monroe:(Smiles politely)   
  
Darien: Hey their.   
  
Official: Slow day.   
  
Darien: Yeah, but we've made do.   
  
Official: Why do you have a card in your pocket?   
  
Darien: Huh? Oh, how did that get there? (Plays innocent)   
  
Official: Well, I assume the two of you are going to do something productive.   
  
Darien/Monroe: Oh, yeah, sure, of course.   
  
Official: Eh. (Walks off) Eberts!   
  
Eberts: Yes sir. (Goes after the official)   
  
Darien and Monroe arrive at the keep, and the game begins......   
  
Hobbes: Ha! Vermont Avenue! I'm buying it.   
  
Monroe: Comunity chest. (Picks up card) Hey, I won ten dollars in a beauty pagent.   
  
Hobbes: That's nice, what's the card say?   
  
Monroe: Oh, get out of jail free card.   
  
Claire: My turn. OOH. Reading Railroad. I'll buy it.   
  
Darien: Alright, I'm up. Income tax! Aw man.   
  
Later.....   
  
Hobbes: You owe me two hundred dollars my friend.   
  
Darien: Don't act so smug about it.   
  
Hobbes: Here I go. Come on Park Place. Yes! I am the man! I have a monopoly. Now I can buy some houses with this  
money I got from Fawkes.   
  
Monroe: Another card. Hey, bank error, I get two hundred dollars.   
  
Claire: Yes! Another railroad!   
  
Darien: I hope I have better luck this time. Aw crap!   
  
Hobbes: Ha! You owe me four hundred bucks this time!   
  
Darien: Man. Now I have to mortgage.   
  
Later.....   
  
Darien: Chance. (picks up card) Crap! I owe everyone fifty dollars.   
  
Claire: And you better pay it soon. Now what's the card say?   
  
Darien: Oh, building tax.   
  
Hobbes: Well, since your too poor to buy any houses you don't have to pay.   
  
Darien: Bald.   
  
Hobbes: Wall.   
  
Darien:(Scowls)   
  
Later.....   
  
Hobbes: I win!!! Yes!!! I am the man!!!!!   
  
Claire: Good job Bobby.   
  
Monroe: Well, it's sixteen after five, I'm going home.   
  
Darien: I think I'm goning to go to the movies. Anyone care to come along?   
  
Hobbes: Sure. I have to since I drove you here.   
  
Claire: Ok, sounds like a good idea.   
  
Monroe: Not me.   
  
Darien: Well, alright. See ya later.   
  
Claire: Bye Alex.   
  
Hobbes: Bye.   
  
Monroe:(Waves bye, and walks out)   
  
Darien: Everyone ready?   
  
Hobbes/Claire: Yeah.   
  
Hobbes: I'll drive, Claire, you can follow.   
  
Claire: Ok.   
  
At the ticket booth.....   
  
Darien: Alright, so we agree, we'll see the Christopher Walken movie. Three for 'The Man In The Dress' please. Alright,  
we're good, let's go in.   
  
Claire: How much do I owe you?   
  
Darien: You guys don't have to pay me. Consider it part of that fifty dollars I owe you.   
  
Claire: Fair enough.   
  
Darien: I'll also spring for the snacks, as part of that debt.   
  
Hobbes: Alright, Fawkesy.   
  
Claire: Thank you Darien.   
  
Darien: Yeah, I'm a nice guy.   
  
Hobbes: I want nachos with cheese, buttered popcorn, and some gummy baers.   
  
Darien: That sounds healthy. Nothing to drink?   
  
Hobbes: I don't want to have to go to the bathroom.   
  
Darien: Oh, and a cardiac arrest won't stop you from watching the movie? Claire, you want anything?   
  
Claire: Gummy bears sound good.   
  
Hobbes: Don't forget mine.   
  
Darien: I got it, you guys get a good seat.   
  
Claire and Hobbes find some seats near the top, in the middle......   
  
Hobbes: I like the music they play. It's calming.   
  
Claire:(trying to solve the trivia on the screen) Bobby, can you unscramble that name?   
  
Hobbes: Tonyhan Skipin?   
  
Claire: OH! Anthony Hopkins!!   
  
Hobbes: Oh, him.   
  
Claire: Tonyhan Skipin?   
  
Hobbes: Well, a lot of these actors have weird names now-a-days.   
  
Claire: There's Darien. (waves to Darien)   
  
Hobbes: Yes, my friend, nachos. (makes yummy sound)   
  
Darien: Here ya go keep. And Hobbes, nice knowing ya.   
  
Hobbes: Already eating.   
  
The previews finally begin.   
  
Darien: Oh, now that movie looks good.   
  
Hobbes:(still eating) Humphgkfmigm.   
  
Darien: Exactly.   
  
After the movie is over, the search for the cars, or THE HUNT, begins.....   
  
Darien: We came in on this side. We all parked on the same side. It was over here.   
  
Hobbes: No my friend, Bobby Hobbes never forgets. It was over here.   
  
Claire: You guys.   
  
Darien: No, I remember coming from over here.   
  
Claire: Darien.   
  
Hobbes: No, it was over here.   
  
Claire: Bobby.   
  
Darien: It was over here.   
  
Claire: You guys.   
  
Hobbes: No, it was.....   
  
Claire: YOU GUYS!!!!!! The cars are over here! You were both wrong!   
  
Darien/Hobbes: Sorry.   
  
They all decide to go out to eat. They arrive at the resturaunt and sit down.....   
  
Darien: I think a size 14 looked pretty good on him.   
  
Hobbes: Not with those hips.   
  
Claire: I have a dress just like that.   
  
Darien: It was a good movie though.   
  
Hobbes: It'll get an Oscar for sure.   
  
Claire: Christopher Walken never looked better in a dress.   
  
Darien: I agree.   
  
Hobbes: Ditto.   
  
Darien:(signaling to waiter) Excuse me. Where's the food? We ordered twenty minutes ago.   
  
Waiter: Oh, in that case, it'll be here in..(looks at watch)....about, thirty minutes.   
  
Darien: Figures.   
  
Hobbes: Why do they have three kinds of sugar?   
  
Darien: They taste different. One's actual sugar, the others are sweeteners.   
  
Hobbes: Why don't they have three kinds of salt?   
  
Darien: What? You can't have three kinds of salt.   
  
Hobbes: Why not? Why can't they have sweet salt?   
  
Darien: They do. It's called sugar.   
  
Hobbes: Or sweet peper.   
  
Darien/Claire: Ewww.   
  
Hobbes: I want some sweet pepper. (takes a pack of sugar and some pepper and mixes it in his spoon. He then taste it) Not  
bad.   
  
Darien: Oh, that's gross.   
  
Hobbes: Want some?   
  
Darien: No.   
  
Hobbes: Claire?   
  
Claire: No thank you Bobby.   
  
Darien: Ah. The food's here.(Looks at Hobbes as he prepares to eat) How can you even eat after that four course meal at the  
movies?   
  
Hobbes: Bobby Hobbes has his ways my friend.   
  
Darien: Well, Bobby Hobbes is going to have a heart attack if he keeps eating like that.   
  
Hobbes: Whatever.   
  
In the middle of the meal....   
  
Hobbes: It doesn't make sense.   
  
Darien: A lot of things don't make sense.   
  
Hobbes: But why napkin? Why don't they call it a lapkin.   
  
Darien: A lapkin?   
  
Hobbes: Yeah, 'cause you put it in your lap.   
  
Darien: Then what the hell is a kin?   
  
Hobbes: I don't know. What the hell does nap mean?   
  
Darien: Mabey that's what they called dabbing at your mouth. You nap with the kin.   
  
Hobbes: Then why not call it a dabkin?   
  
Darien: Why not call it, a waste of time to discuss? Just eat.   
  
Hobbes: I'm just saying.   
  
Darien: Eat.   
  
After dinner, in the parking lot......   
  
Claire: I'm going home. Tomorrow is a work day, and I have a feeling there will actually be work to do.   
  
Darien: Here's to hoping.   
  
Hobbes: Know what you mean.   
  
Darien: Bye Claire.   
  
Hobbes: Bye Claire.   
  
Claire: Bye.   
  
Darien: So, Hobbesy, what do you want to do now?   
  
Hobbes: You hungry?   
  
Darien: Hobbes, we just ate.   
  
Hobbes: And I'm hungry again.   
  
Darien: How are you still alive?   
  
Hobbes: It's the Bobby Hobbes charm.   
  
Darien: If I see another plate of food, I'm gonna collapse. I just wanna go home, sleep off the meal.   
  
Hobbes: Sounds good partner. I'll take ya home.   
  
Hobbes drops Darien off at his apartement and heads off. Darien goes up. He walks in and locks his door. As he  
walks by the kitchen, he sees his salt and pepper shakers. Wondering, he goes over, pours some pepper in his had, and pours  
some sugar in his hand. He taste it.   
  
Darien:(spits it out) That's nasty!!! (runs to sink, turns on faucet, sticks his mouth under faucet, drinks water) Hobbes has no  
taste buds.   
  
Thus ends the slow day. As they all reflected back on it, they relized that it was a rather interesting day after all. 


End file.
